retreat into splendor

“There is no power on earth that can prevent your criticizing and despising mediocrity -- nothing that can stop you retreating into splendor and beauty.”
-- E.M. Forster, Where Angels Fear to Tread


I had advanced my campaign as far as it would go. At an impasse too long, I sounded the retreat.

And then I attended one. It was a religious experience in a quiet place, a time for contemplation and prayer. I called God’s name many times, made a little too much noise. He may have answered; I can’t be sure. I’m still soliciting his help.

I forfeited what was required, to prove that I was worthy. But he knows I’m more devoted than devout, and I’m certainly not worthy. In the end, all I did was face one version of the truth and retreat into another -- into splendor, into safety, and into myself.