Identity crisis

Genika eixa panta provlhma me ta paidia. Gia ta mwra den to syzhtaw, den hxera pws na ta piasw, apo pou na ta krathsw, otan kapoios syggenhs mou systhne gia prwth fora to neo melos ths oikogeneias tou legontas mou "thes na ton/thn krathseis ligo?" ton koitaza me tromo kai ekana amesws 3 vhmata pisw tentonontas ta xeria mou psila se apognwsh. Gia ta megalytera, peropou ta idia. Otan se kapoia Kyriakatikh exormhsh se exohikh taverna tyxaine kapoio xemparko paidaki apo allo trapezi na erthei dipla mou kai na me koitaei me aporia, synithws h pio tryferh mou antidrash tha itan na tou petaxw mia thganhth patata, opws tha ekana gia ena skylo h mia gata. Parenthetika na anaferw oti me tous skylous kai tis gates exw tis pio aristes sxeseis, panta ta phgainame mia xara...

Den xerw ti einai ayto pou panta me fovize me ta mwra kai ta mikra paidia. Entaxei, se kapoio epipedo h eythynh, o fovos oti isws kati den kanw kala, mou pesoun apo ta xeria, ta ponesw, valoun ta klamata apo dikia mou ypaitiothta klp klp.
Epishs panta me tromazei h pepoithisi oti mprosta se ena mikro paidi den mporeis na kryfteis. Oi prokataskevasmens koinwnikes mas symperifores den pianoun. Pote den mporeis, gia paradeigma, na teleiwseis mia kouventa me ena paidi legontas "ta leme...". Giati einai psema, kai to xereis, kai to xerei, kai den prokeitai na perasei. Ti paei na pei "ta leme"? Apolytws tipota. Sthn kalyterh periptwsh paei na pei "isws na ta xanapoume kapoia stigmh", synithws "den exw idiaiterh orexh na ta xanapoume, alla mporei kai na tyxei", kai spaniws "siga mhn ta xanapoume". Opote prepei na vreis kati na peis pou na vgazei nohma kai na to ennoeis. Pragma arketa dyskolo merikes fores.

Telos pantwn, gia na mhn polylogw, ta paidia htan panta ena mysthrio gia 'mena. Twra exw ki egw ena diko mou. Enw kapoia apo ta parapanw den exoun allaxei, kapoia exoun. Gia paradeigma, den fovamai na ton krataw. Isa isa pou mou aresei. Gia thn akriveia ama ton parw aggalia kai apokoimithei, dyskolevomai na ton valw katw. Oi filoi mou mou lene oti den kanw kala, giati tha synithisei kai tha thelei panta agkalies kai nanourismata gia na apokoimithei. Gia thn wra den me endiaferei katholou....

Exakolouthw na fovamai ti tha skeftei gia 'mena, pws tha tou fanw, an tha tou kanw kalh h kakh entypwsh, poso eykola tha xeskepasei tis xiliades elattwmata kai adynamies mou. Epishs me provlimatizei an tha kataferw na ta vgalw pera me to dyskolo ergo na ton kanw ayto pou thelei na ginei. Kai prin apo ayto, na ton voithisw na vrei ti thelei na ginei. Kai prin apo ayto, na ton voithisw na megalwsei, na vlepei ta pragmata opws thelei na ta vlepei, na ton mathw na mathainei. Einai megalh proklhsh, h megalyterh kai h pio endiaferousa.

Mexri twra ta pame kala. Exw mathei ti shmainei to kathe klamma tou (sxedon), ki aytos exei mathei na koitaei kai na kanei mikres kinhseis. Exei anaptyxei idiaiterh sympatheia gia mia melissoula kai ena kouneli, alla apolambanw ki egw merika platia xamogela kathe toso. H axia tous aperigrapth.

En tw metaxy thelw na ton mathw ta panta gia th mousikh pou mou aresei, na ton prokalesw na skeftetai kritika, na axiologei, na filtrarei, na antlei thn ousia kai na petaei ta axrhsta. Na anaptyxei mia aisthitikh apopsh pou na symperilambanei ta panta, apo thn texnh mexri tous anthrwpous kai tis symperifores tous. Na aporripsei ta pragmata pou den exoun axia, alla me tous anthrwpous na einai ypomonetikos kai na krataei oti axizei xwris na aporriptei to synolo. Na einai taytoxrona apolytos kai diallaktikos. Na paizei stis klimakes tou gkri xwris na xanei thn aisthisi tou asprou kai tou mavrou.

Telos pantwn, xiliades tetoia pragmata, pou egw me dyskolia ta vgazw pera. Kai ola ayta me th megisth prosoxh na mhn tou epivallw th dikia mou optikh gwnia, tis dikes mou pepoithiseis.

All in all, einai ena project toso wraio, pou otidhpote allo den mporei na piasei topo mporsta tou. Mexri twra, to synistw anepifyllakta. Eimaste stis 67 meres, kai proxwrame akathektoi!