Spiders

Smiling Spider. Odilon Redon: Early Charcoals (1878-85)

I used to hate spiders. I mean, I would totally freak out even if it was a small one staring at me from the far end of the room.

At some point I decided that I could not go on like that. I decided to do something about it. I thought that if I started carefully observing them, at first from a distance, and progressively closer, I would slowly become more acquainted with their appearance and their movements and their ways. And after enough time, I would be at ease with them and not afraid any more...

A crazy theory, but it worked! It took me years, granted, but now I won't really mind a spider (well, not ANY spider) walking up my hand towards my face.

I am very happy that I have achieved this new closeness with this seamingly threatening, but also really fascinating animal.

However I regret the fact that, in order to get there, I had to subconsciously mutilate, or at least anaesthetize, something that I was born with. A basic, ancient, primordial instinct, that may be totally useless nowdays, but it certainly was a small part of the footprint of my original self.