nice pants

100% polyester

I’m a sucker for a good pants story. Who isn’t? This one came to me in an email. I have the writer's permission to reproduce it here, and I do so with minimal editing.

It started when this person was asked to be in a friend’s wedding in September. This would involve wearing a tux.

When he went in for the fitting, the young woman working there gave him a pair of size 40 pants to try on. She said they would fit. (Anybody who knows anything about sizing could take one look at this guy and realize this was a mistake.) My friend, being a nice guy, not the kind of guy to complain, dutifully tried them on -- then he waltzed out to the fitting area wearing the potato sack. Holding the waist out far from his own, he mentioned they may be a little big for him.

The couple about to get married witnessed the whole event. They said it was all an elaborate ruse on the part of the girl to get a look at my friend’s “package,” that he should have seen the signs and gone back to get her phone number.

That didn’t happen. And neither did the wedding. Or rather, the wedding went on as planned, as far as I know, but Hurricane Katrina made it impossible for my friend to attend, in a tux too big or perhaps just right. It was another missed opportunity -- for everyone but the girl.