Pirate Talk

[The ugly dirty pirates]

Last night I saw The Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest. It was good (I'm a Johnny Depp fan). But what I found particularly hilarious was some of the dialogue taking place between the ugly, dirty, yet somehow linguistically oriented pirates:


[The premiere...]

Pirate: Let's get away from this island and head out to open sea.
Captain: Yes to the first. Yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows.
Pirate: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Captain: I have faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills. Now, where is that monkey? I want to shoot something.

Captain: Mr. Gibbs.
Pirate: Captain.
Captain: We have a need to travel upriver.
Pirate: By need, do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?
Captain: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Pirate 1: And it is what lay inside the chest you seek, don't it?
Pirate 2: What is inside? Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties
of a valuable nature? Nothing bad, I hope?...

Pirate 1: A man of the sea. A great sailor, until he run afoul of that
which vex all men.
Pirate 2: What vexes all men?
Pirate 1: What indeed?
Pirate 2: The sea? Sums? The dichotomy of good and evil?... A woman?
Pirate 1: A woman.... He fell in love.

Pirate 1: What exactly did he put into the chest?
Pirate 2: Him heart.
Pirate 1: Literally or figuratively?

Pirate 1 (in boat): You're pulling too fast.
Pirate 2: You're pulling too slow.
Pirate 1: We don't want the kraken to catch us.
Pirate 2: I'm saving me strength for when it comes.
Pirate 2: And I don't think it's "Kracken" anyways. I always heard it said "Krayken".
Pirate 1: With a long "a"?
Pirate 2: Uh-huh.
Pirate 1: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. "Krocken" is how it's pronounced in Scandinavian, and "Kracken" is closer to that.
Pirate 2: We ain't Scandinavians, are we? "Krayken."
Pirate 1: It's a mythological creature. I can calls it what I wants.

Pirate 1: How'd this go all screwy?
Pirate 2: Well, each wants the chest for hisself. Mr. Norrington, I think, is trying to regain a bit of honor, old Jack's looking to trade it, save his own skin, then Turner, there, I think he's trying
to settle some unresolved business 'twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father. (belches)
Pirate 1: Sad...

Captain: My intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.
Lady: I just thought I'd be married by now.
Captain: I'm so ready to be married.

Captain: We are very much alike, you and I. I and you. Us.
Lady: Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Captain: Trifles...