Another one...

Got the following by email. I marked my favorite with many many exclamation marks!!!!


What is the IQ of doctors? Written in patients' notes:

• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 years old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• The patient has no previous history of suicides.
• Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
• Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
• Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.